OK, I know - even Taco Bells BEST taco does not even qualify as a REAL taco, but hear me out. I was driving to Silver City in southern New Mexico, for work. Down I-25 to Las Cruces to I-10 then to Silver City. From this route you can actually SEE Mexico - yes, the taco Mothership. All of those mountains you see to the south of I-10 - that's Mexico baby. So I'm thinking, "I'm so close to frickin' Mexico time for another taco review - there's GOTTA be a decent taco around here". Driving south out of Soccorro, it's a long an lonely stretch of desert, especially when you're Jonesn' for tacos. My mouth was watering and the next 
town of any decent size is Truth or Consequences - so I set my sights on doing some serious taco eating there. Good thing, because I was frickin' starving!I roll into T or C and the first "Mexican" place I see is called "Hot Stuff" - for one thing that's a REALLY stupid name for a restaurant but the worst part was the words "Hot Stuff" on their big-ass sign are spelled out in some sort of gay chili pepper font. There is NO way I'm eating there - I don't care if they have the best tacos in the world (which, I KNOW they would not) - it just ain't gonna happen. So I drive through town.....twice... and I don't see a single taco place, not one. OK, so now I'm pretty pissed, and still starving and right as I'm getting ready to get back on the freeway - there's Taco Bell. What the hell, it's my only option, so I pull in. In the window there is a big sign pushing their new "Volcano Taco". Being a geologist I thought anything that has to do with molten lava and spewing pyroclastic material can't be THAT bad. I go drive through the window and order two tacos smothered in volcanic goodness. I park and open the paper wrapper and there they are just sitting there, viscous bright orange volcanic "lava" dripping from the ends, a molten core of pureed Taco Bell taco meat and a red taco shell of solidified earthen crust.
So they were OK. About as good as I expected from Taco Bell ......however I was expecting at least a little spiciness from something called a "Volcano Taco" but there was nothing. There was none of that "fire coming out of your mouth" business like you see on the TV commercials. A couple of packets of the "Fire" sauce helped matters a bit, but not much. The Review:
Taco authenticity: 2.0/5.0
Volcanic Simulation 3.5/5.0 (orange cheese lava and wilted vegetation - a nice try)
Taco value: 3.0/5.0 (at $1.49 each it's still a little high for a taco)
Taste: 2.0/5.0 (does not even come close to the taste of a REAL taco, but hey it's Taco Bell!)
Overall Rating: 2.625/5.0
Taco Alert: DO NOT stop in Truth or Consequences for a taco - That town is some sort of taco-free vortex, there ain't shit there. If you're heading south, suck it up and wait another 50 miles or so until the Dona Ana exit. There is a really crazy looking taco stand right there off the freeway, yet to be reviewed.
