November 30, 2008

Bike fer Beer

For Trade - Old, black Phillips bike. 3-Speed Sturmey Archer, Brooks Saddle, 12-pack basket, kickstand and weighs about 300 pounds. Will trade for case of beer. You pick up.

The Beaner

In the hopes we can teach him to make us tacos - we've adopted a Beaner

Project Bean

The cats new punching bag

A Message from Nature

Click to view special message

November 19, 2008

The Leavenworth Oktoberfest/Marathon Sacrifice

Leavenworth Washington is one of those fake Bavarian villages that most old people think are something really "special" with all the gingerbread houses with flowers overflowing window boxes and cute knick knacks and people dressed up in stupid lederhosen. Little do they know - that behind all that gay crap is the real fake Bavarian village that consists of beers and drunk people and giant schnitzels and big boobies and more beers. Jen MADE me go to Leavenworth because she wanted to run some marathon there. There just HAPPENED to be an Oktoberfest celebration going on the same weekend. To top it all off, we met up with Earl and Doreen, who live in Seattle, and Jen MADE them go too. It was horrible, but I MUST make my wife happy and make a sacrifice. Jen had been training for this marathon for something like 8 months, sticking to her training schedule to-the-letter.
It was raining the morning of the race, and everybody at the start line was all bummed out, bitching about the weather and probable missed opportunities at a "PR" and blisters and hypothermia and cold fingers. Boo Hoo Hoo ya poor bastards - that's what Jen was thinking because she knew she had the upper hand psychologically because she was wearing her new Gore-Tex running shoes. That's right bitches - GORE tex. Ha! There will be no wet feet for Jen today. And guess what? - She's also gonna get a PR TOO! - because it's her first marathon ever!

After taking a considerable amount of time sizing up the competition at the start, Jen was ready, she was ready to kick some serious ass! BAM! the race was on! MILE after MILE after boring-as-hell-to-watch MILE she persisted. She was in the zone. She had a support crew that is absolutely the best in the business as their strategy was to get into the heads of Jen's competition by first getting drunk and then making smart ass comments to every runner that passed. This REALLY demoralizes people - especially when you say stuff like "good job" or "you're looking good" in a really smart ass sarcastic way. The best line used by Jen's crew was "you're almost there!" because they really weren't "almost there" - they still had miles to go and they had no idea! Ha Ha ha.

At mile 21 Jen thought "I'm done fuckin' around, time to reel these bitches in" referring to the several hundred runners ahead of her. She started to kick it in but all of the sudden BOOM she cramped. Oh shit, now what. She had to dig DEEP - I'm talking SUPER deep - but now her competition had the edge and unfortunately Jen's planned smack-down would have to wait until next year. Even though a couple of people finished ahead of her, she still managed a blistering 5:05, which is pretty bad-ass.

Most people run a marathon and then are such pansy asses that they need to rest or take a nap or get a rub down........but not Jen - she was like: "let's drink!!" and we were like: "OK if you insist". So we all walked over to the beer tents and proceeded to drink too many beers and eat giant schnitzels and almost get into fights. At the end of the night we walked back to the condo where Doreen provided a great finale to the night by falling down some stairs, getting up and hitting her head and then farting - pretty much all in one motion.
Jen - sizing up the competition and getting in your head

We have such pleasent friends

November Random 10

Sea and Cake - Midtown
Daniel Johnston - Living Life
Coho - Until We Get There
Giant Sand - Is That All There Is?
The National - Available
The Minutemen - Below the Belt
Sparklehorse - Little Bastard Choo Choo
Elliot Smith - Coming Up Roses
Lilliput - Terrified
Iron and Wine - Fever Dream

Taco Review #2

Guadalajara Grill (Norte) - Taos, NM
A curious fact: insert the letter "c" in Taos and you get "Tacos". Man, that would be pretty cool to live in a town called "Tacos" - hell of a lot better than "Taos" - I mean what kind of messed up word is that? Well anyway, Taos is lucky to have, not one but TWO Guadalajara Grill locations - north side and south side. So here it is: the GG serves up a pretty wide variety of authentic mexican stuff - even seafood. This is the sort of place where you order at the counter and have a seat to wait for the goods. Last week Jen and I went to check it out. When you do a "taco review", you naturally have to order the carne asada tacos - which really has to be the "gold standard" of tacos - so, that's what I got. Just shy of a "full bad-ass" rating they were pretty damn good. Good meat, a tiny bit of cheese (which is perfectly acceptable), cilantro and onions. Ya, I forgot to hold the onions - oh well, I was still able to taste through that onion nastiness to the real taco ingredients. The only thing that was just "asi-asi" was the tort. It was fried corn - which is good, but I like two torts - steamed a lot better than just one fried. The sides were good - runny refried beans (the way they serve em up in Mexico) and Spanish rice that was also waaaay better than the way most people in NM cook Spanish rice, which is just plain disgusting. There are two great things about the GG - first they have a good beer selection, and second they have a condenment bar with seriously some of the hottest pan-seared jalepenos ever. Awesome.

Meat: 4.3/5
Veggies: 4.5/5 (jalepenos)
Tort: 3.0/5
Salsa: 4.0/5
Size: 4.0/5
Price: 3.5/5 ($7.95 for the "plato")
Beers Drank: 1 Bohemia
Overall Score: 3.88

Taos Dirt - Horsethief and Cuervo Trails

If you need to ride in the winter around these parts (Taos) - you only have a few options:
1) the front side of Divisidero (ass kicker)
2) Talpa Traverse (potential run-ins with belligerent rednecks) or
3) Horsethief and Cuervo

OK, Horsethief and Cuervo are not technically in Taos - they are in Arroyo Hondo - but close enough that if you were Jones-n' to ride you'd make the 15 minute drive to Hondo. To start the ride, hang a left on County Road B-001, about a quarter mile north of Herb's Bar in Arroyo Hondo. Drive this road for another quarter mile, past a few houses, pull off and park. Now ride west continuing on the same road towards the Rio Grande - mostly all down hill or flat. When you get to the gorge look to your right - ya see that faint trail heading north? - that's it - that's Horsethief. No, it's not marked in any way, not even a carin. From there you will follow the east edge of the gorge a few miles north where the trail will transition into the Cuevro and bring you back south - spitting you out right near the start of Horsethief. Check out this map - or, well a photo of a map.
Total time: about 1.5 hours (lollipop/loop)
Trail surface: smooth and swoopy with several areas of loose babyheads and smaller kittenheads - all ridable
Pokey Stuff: Yes, there's lots of cactus-don't stray from the trail even one inch or you're screwed
Possibility of Death: Yes - there is some major exposure in a few spots where, one wrong turn and you'll drop about 1,000 feet into the Rio. There's rattlers out there too....and sometimes rednecks shooting stuff
Proximity to Beer: Herb's Lounge - there's a scary liquor store there too