April 23, 2009

Shit That Bugs The Hell Out Of Me #1

Inspired from my ranting post from the other day - I decided to burden everybody that reads this blog (all 4 of you!) with a grand new installment called "Shit That Bugs The Hell Out Of Me". From these insights, you will be able to figure out how to either piss me off or how to be my friend - this will also give us something to argue over next time I see you.........but your ass better not show up in one of these things (see photo) or I won't even acknowledge that you exist:

Possibly the gayest car ever built (Chrysler PT Cruiser) with, without a question, the biggest waste-of-money paint job ever conceived. Photo taken in Taos NM.

April 22, 2009

Taco Review #9 - Mezcal Concert Taco

Outside of the Zocolo in Mexico D.F., you couldn't pick a better place for a taco stand.....Denver Colorado, Colfax Ave, across from the Bluebird Theater and just down the street from the Gothic Theater. Ya, we're talking serious tidal surges of young hippies, geeky yuppies, stupid jocks, mega dorks and trying-to-hard hipsters all night long coming and going from one show to the next. Pre-show, post-show, stumbling down to the corner to catch the last RTD bus, Mezcal has come to the rescue. Not exactly a "true" taco stand, but one that puts out a mean pastor and backs it up with a kick-ass bar.........all this while providing an atmosphere for watching a few pink tacos as well. Great tacos, great beer and tequila selection in a great location - I would say it's "genius", but really, it's just common sense.
The tacos. Well I ordered the "Al Pastor" and "cha-ching", I hit the jackpot. Slow-simmered bad-assness with some crazy sweet sauce, cabbage and lime. Topped off with a Bohemia "Clasica".........I know, I know, what the hell is that? Well, it's my favorita cerveza Mexicana - but I've never even HEARD of the "Clasica" version. Hmmmmm, like Negra Modelo but mas mejor. Saw it that time and have never seen it again......but oh, the tacos.....

The review:
Flavor-ito: 4.6/5.0 (crazy sweet - good puerco)
Atmophere-ito 3.8/5.0 (loud, too many yuppies)
Precio 3.2/5.0 (a little pricey - but they need to pay the rent in this high $$$ area)
Tort Factor 4.5/5.0 (perfect steamed double tort - the way god meant it)
Booze Factor 5.0/5.0 (perfect score bitches - others -learn by example, I was impressed!)
Overall 4.1/5.0 (pretty good score considering not a single hispanic eating there)

April 21, 2009

Vaya Con Dios

As Jen and I are heading out of the country for bigger and better things down south (jury's out, we'll see what happens) - I'm thinking of the many things I will miss (and not) about living in the US. Here's just a few:

One thing I WON'T miss are loud Harleys. Taos is a great place to live in the summer, mountains right there to the east and south, desert to the west, beer at Eske's just a few blocks away, but what ruins it all, more than ANYTHING is the constant roar of Harleys through the streets all summer long. The sad part is that the posers that are riding these things, think they are some sort of bad asses. Maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking riding a Harley these days (as opposed to like the 70's) is pretty much a joke. No I won't miss you - all you fat ass old fuckers hauling your nasty "bitches" around on your hogs. Dudes, get a life and let people have some peace and quiet - nobody thinks you're cool, they just think you're an annoying idiot.

I WILL miss the food in New Mexico. Probably the best food I've had anywhere. Goodbye my little posole, adovada and sopapillas - I will be thinking of you when I'm eating gristle on the beach at Curu.

I WON'T miss the snow - I absolutely hate that shit

I WILL miss singletrack. Riding in Costa Rica is pretty cool but it's not like it is in the US. There is virtually zero singletrack in Costa Rica - I'm guessing that's because it's gets overgrown with vegetation so fast, I don't know. However, wide trails in the tropics might be a good thing as you don't really want pit vipers hanging out on branches, snapping at your jugular as you're trying to clean some crazy rock garden. Not cool. Guess I got spoiled living the past several years in Colorado and New Mexico.

I WON'T miss people who are obsessed with money and "things". It's almost like a competition in the US and I'm especially talking to YOU - douche bag that lives north of Espanola in that nasty ghetto singlewide trailer that drives a $70,000 Hummer. You're a dumb ass and contrary to what you may think, those who finish with the most toys does NOT win. fag

I WILL miss the wide open spaces in the southwest. Man, there really is some cool stuff to see and miles upon miles of open space to explore - it really IS amazing.....that is until you run into a bunch of discarded matresses and bullet-riddled washing machines way out in the middle of nowhere - that part sucks..
I WON'T miss the obsession people in the US have with hunting and guns. Grow up guys, we're not living in frikin' caves anymore .......you can actually go the supermarket and purchase better meat for less money that you can by hunting it. Think about it, if you add up all the money you spend on guns, ammo, permits, gas, ATVs, Cabelas dork-wear, booze and kiddie porn, you'll find that supermarket meat is far cheaper, better, easier and you don't have to dress up like a complete moron to obtain it......and better yet you don't have to obliterate the countryside.

I won't miss shitty art (actually, I consider most of the stuff around here "crafts", but whatever)- Not dissing all of it but here in New Mexico there is just WAY too many Indians on rearing up horses with spears and all kinds of crazy eagle feathers. Stoooopid! .......and coyotes with bandanas around their necks howling at the moon and Kokopelli's.....that shit bugs me too.

I WON'T miss assholes on ATVs that think they can ride anywhere they please. There's WAY too much of that crap going on - but when you run into these fuck-heads, of course you can't say anything to them because they are usually drunk and packin' a "nine"......you just have to be cool and say "what's up man?"

I WON'T miss graffiti - in the US punk kids have so much extra money that they don't think twice about heading down to Ace for a few cans of spray so they can tag the entire hood. OK, so now there is bad graffiti and good graffiti - c'mon kid if you're gonna do it, shit man, do it right. That "tagging" crap is just plain stupid - oh big whoop, you sprayed your gang initials on a stop sign as being part of your territory, ya, well I tagged a frikin' taco - how you like me now beeatch? Dude, take your time and put some thought into it. (flip side - next time you see a freight train roll by, watch the graffiti - some of it is actually pretty bad-ass. Now that's a great place to spray graffiti, on an ugly ass noisy train that's a big-time eye-sore anyway- it's like a rolling art expo [bam - stamp of approval!]). In poor countries, where kids are worried more about buying food than spray paint, you just don't see much graffiti at all..
Last, but not least, I'll miss good super hoppy beer and really stinky cheese - not to be had in Costa Rica. sniff sniff. Hey, yo when you come to visit - now you know what to bring!!
Vaya con dios

April Random 10

Sleater Kinney - Funeral Song
Voxtrot - Your Biggest Fan
Savage Republic - Sucker Punch
Snakefinger - Eva's Warning
Art Brut - Post Soothing Out
Vince Guaraldi - Chora tu Tristiza
Nortec Collective - Funky Tamazula
Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash - Night Life
Martin Riley - The Pill
Lunchbox - My disaster

Truely Bad Ass

.....wish I could do just ONE of these tricks