So there we are in Tilaran, the next biggest town to the north of our place. On the plaza, there is Hotel Mary which has a sort of sports bar thing right on the street - we needed a beer and some food after a long day of getting caught is a major rain storm while biking (me) and shooting butterflies (Jen - she loves to hunt those little bastards!)
So Jen orders the Super Nachos without meat. The waitress quickly informed us that the reason the nachos were "super" was BECAUSE they had meat on them. She just wanted regular nachos and thought the waitress understood this apparently simple request. Turns out Jen got the Super anyway - loaded with shredded beef and dead animal nastiness. I had to eat it since, as you may know, she will not have anything to do with meat - even if it IS Super.
So when I'm lookng at the menu, I see three taco options: 1) the regular Super Taco, 2) "Tana's" Super Taco and 3) the Taco "Alambre" (I didn't know that word "Alambre" at the time, but later looked it up and it means barbed wire - shit, good thing I didn't get THAT one!). On the menu there was really no description of what distinguished the three taco choices and when I asked the waitress well, she didn't know either (bad sign right there!). So in order to not look like some sort of taco snob, I just ordered the medium-priced taco, Tana's (I figured that Tana was maybe the cook and was proud of her taco - I mean, what woman ISN'T proud of her taco? C'mon!).
So there we are with our delicious beers (with ice - beer is often served with a glass of ice here, which I have really grown to like) - ok, ya and then here comes the taco.......or uh "tacos"? I'm thinking tacos (plural) because it's a big pile of food! At first glance it looked like a plate of tacos, but really it was just a pile of lettuce, cabbage, sour cream and Chilero (this REALLY lame [not]hot sauce they eat here) covering one taco (Tana's Taco). Very colorful - I mean, I don't see shit for tacos but what I DO see is a plate of veggies and stringers of sauce squirted about. First thing I did was laugh but then thought I'd better try it up first before I judge.
You pretty much needed a machete to cut through all that vegetation covering that damn taco but finally after eating the equivalent of a head each of cabbage and lettuce I encountered something hard and crunchy. There it was.....Tana's Taco......................hey baby.
So this is not your typical hand held taco deal - it's a "smothered" taco. I guess you could pick it up but it would be a total mess with all that crap covering it.
So, the corn tort is rolled, kinda taquito style but fatter. So I do a crunchy cut with my fork and the inevitable tort shrapnel starts flying everywhere and then.........what the fuck?.........There's ham and cheese in this damn taco! It's a frikin' ham and cheese sandwich wrapped in tort and deep fried and covered with a rain forest. Dude, Tana..... this ain't no taco! - it's a frikin' joke - it's a frikin' clown taco. Oh god.
Taco Review: No review, does not qualify as a taco, sorry Tana