ktoberfest celebration going on the same weekend. To top it all off, we met up with Earl and Doreen, who live in Seattle, and Jen MADE them go too. It was horrible, but I MUST make my wife happy and make a sacrifice. Jen had been training for this marathon for something like 8 months, sticking to her training schedule to-the-letter.It was raining the morning of the race, and everybody at the start line was all bummed out, bitching about the weather and probable missed opportunities at a "PR" and blisters and hypothermia and cold fingers. Boo Hoo Hoo ya poor bastards - that's what Jen was thinking because she knew she had the upper hand psychologically because she was wearing her new Gore-Tex running shoes. That's right bitches - GORE tex. Ha! There will be no wet feet for Jen today. And guess what? - She's also gonna get a PR TOO! - because it's her first marathon ever!
After taking a considerable amount of time sizing up the competition at the start, Jen was ready, she was ready to kick some serious ass! BAM! the race was on! MILE after MILE after boring-as-hell-to-watch MILE she persisted. She was in the zone. She had a support crew that is absolutely the best in the business as their strategy was to get into the heads of Jen's competition by first getting drunk and then making smart ass comments to every runner that passed. This REALLY demoralizes people - especially when you say stuff like "good job" or "you're looking good" in a really smart ass sarcastic way. The best line used by Jen's crew was "you're almost there!" because they really weren't "almost there" - they still had miles to go and they had no idea! Ha Ha ha.
At mile 21 Jen thought "I'm done fuckin' around, time to reel these bitches in" referring to the several hundred runners ahead of her. She started to kick it in but all of the sudden BOOM she cramped. Oh shit, now what. She had to dig DEEP - I'm talking SUPER deep - but now her competition had the edge and unfortunately Jen's planned smack-down would have to wait until next year. Even though a couple of people finished ahead of her, she still managed a blistering 5:05, which is pretty bad-ass.
Most people run a marathon and then are such pansy asses that they need to rest or take a nap or get a rub down........but not Jen - she was like: "let's drink!!" and we were like: "OK if you insist". So we all walked over to the beer tents and proceeded to drink too many beers and eat giant schnitzels and almost get into fights. At the end of the night we walked back to the condo where Doreen provided a great finale to the night by falling down some stairs, getting up and hitting her head and then farting - pretty much all in one motion.
Jen - sizing up the competition and getting in your head
