June 22, 2008

2008 Taos Marathon

The world famous Taos Marathon took place in early June so Jen decided to give it a go and put the screws to the local competition. They offered up a full marathon, a half and some shorter distances for pussies - Jen opted for the half to showcase her superiority. Jen said, "The half marathon ends around 10:00 am just when people are getting out of church and heading for the park to roast weenies - and since the race ends at the park there will be maximum exposure for people to witness the severe ass-kicking I'm gonna dish out".

The scene at the starting line was intense. Racers were eye-ballin' one another and there was mucho calf muscle-flexin' and IT band stretching in an all out effort to psych out the competition even before the gun went off.
There was a mad dash from the start - it was a sea of flapping arms and legs. Jen decided to play it conservative and let the elbow jabbing and heel juking unfold in front of her. "Those bitches always play that game, but this time I'm just going to let them destroy each other and then, when they least expect it, I'll kick in the after burners and leave em in my dust".

At the half-way turn around Jen pulled her move. Just as "green shirt" slowed a bit to grab a cup of water, Jen turned on the nitro and started flying. "I saw green shirt go for the water and thought - only sissies drink water - so I blasted by leaving her choking on my fumes - It was sick!"
The last two miles coming into town, some fat white dude was slowly gaining - obvioulsy embarrased by getting his ass served up to him by a chick. There was severe pain and anguish on his face as his lower chin was dripping massive amounts of sweat. At the last turn, with only 100 yards left to go, white fat dude dug deep and passed Jen and crossed the finish line exhausted but pumped up by barely beating a girl. "I heard fat white dude on my heels for the last two miles and I could tell by his breathing that he was hurting - I finally let him pass a the end just to save him the humilation".

Overall Jen dished out a serious ass-whoopin' with a time of 2:14 and finished to the roars of the crowd that had gathered to witness this amazing feat.

June Random 10

the spin
Clap your Hands Say Yeah - Love Song No. 7
Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet - Hunter S. Thompsons Brother
Negativland - The Piddle Diddle Report
Pere Ubu - All the Dogs are Barking
The Feelings - Gone
White Shoes and the Couples Company - Tentang Cita
Blonde Redhead - Misery is a Butterfly
Land of the Loops - Sound System
The Sea and Cake - I Took the Opportunity to Antique my End Table
The National - Looking for Astronauts