Elbert the Costa Rican stick bug

Doug the scorpian came crawling out of Tim's room, drank half of his beer, pushed open the front door and left...without even a "thank you"....

.....and then his friend Elbert, a big-ass stick bug, heard that there was beer and Elbert tried to bust down the door...

.....but Adrian was there watching the place - he had, anyway, consumed all the beer and decided he's better keep an eye on the melons - because stick bugs looooove melons.....

......Elbert the stick bug left and took the truck but ended up getting a flat on his way to Las Juntas......

.....where he met up with a clear-winged butterfly, which knew of a bar with two-fers right around the corner...

.....they were drinking beers so fast the bartenders could hardly keep up....

...Elbert got so completely liquored up that he fell backward off of his barstool.....

......and then Jesus came (oh shit)

......and said "Dude, Jeff is going to take you someplace where you can sleep it off"....

.....Elbert the stick bug woke up in the morning to find a gigantic Tim standing over him. Tim said "buenos dias Elbert, let's drink some guaro....

....So they went down to the falls to hang out and drink..............

......but that was really boring so Tim said "cowabunga dude, lets hit some olas".....

.......Tim showed Elbert the ropes but the waves were too big and Elbert kept getting pummeled in the surf....

......so they went to eat some gallo pinto and Elbert fell in love with some floozy at the soda....

......then Tim gave Elbert a demonstration on how to lick titties, which Elbert really appreciated since he had now hooked up with the floozy from the soda.....

.......then Jesus sent Jeff back to tell Elbert that the floozy is only a print on the side of a shopping bag.....

......Elbert the stick bug was bummed and decided to load up the boards and hit the waves again (there are chicas on the beach)

....but then a cat came and ate Elbert.

THE END

Abiquiu Dirt - Rim Vista Rock Garden

For those that like their trails rocky and technical....you've arrived baby - The Rim Vista Trail.

Take the highway north out of Abiquiu, pass the turn off to the "lake" and keep heading toward TA. Pass the entrance to Ghost Ranch (when I say "pass" it - I mean it.......that place is a joke and just plain wierd) keep heading north for about another 2 miles or so until you see a dirt road on the left which is the river access for the rio Chama. Take this left and go in about 1/2 mile, the trailhead is on the right

The sign at the trailhead says "foot travel welcome - no motor vehicles" so, um, what the hell does that mean? I'm thinking that means bikes are welcome too. Based on the few road apples present it looks as if cows and horses are welcome....so any place that is open to their destruction is certainly open to us.

The trail is pretty short but tough - and basically heads north up the edge of the mesa directly across from the red rock cliffs on the east side of the highway. Awesome views of these cliffs which are probably really cool around sunset. The route we did is basically an out-and-back to the top of the mesa where the trail hits a forest service road. You can make a loop out of it by following the forest service road west to the Continental Divide Trail, taking that south until you hit the Rio Chama Road again.

Some of the rocky bits

More rocky bits

Post ride cervezas at the Ghost Ranch Campground - this is where we saw Jesus and his fat sister. This is also the place to come if you're a yuppie and want to pretend to be a hippie. Pretty hilarious but a waste of $19

June Random 10

Combination #4, El Farolito, El Rito New Mexico

Daniel Johnston - Dead Lovers Twisted Heart

Sage Francis - Crack Pipes

Tom Waits - Anywhere I Lay my Head

Blonde Redhead - Anticipation

Eugene Chadborne - There was Gloom

Alpinestars - Hyper Hyper

Feist - Tout Doucemnet

Mission of Burma - Red

White Stripes - Ball and a Biscuit

Radiohead - Anyone can Play Guitar

May Random 10

Takako Minekawa - Telstar
The Sea and Cake - The Sewing Machine Song
Julian Cope - Reynard in Tokio
Trembling Blue Stars - Now That There's Nothing
Neko Case - I Wish I Were the Moon
Ernest Ranglin - Surfin'
Beirut - Brandenberg
Negativland - U2 Part 1
Tom Robinson - The Mighty Quinn
Ashtray Boy - Onto the Goat

Creepy photo courtesy of Creepy Gringo Stock Photos

Costa Rica - Rincon de la Vieja Climb - (assault of an old woman)

Tim and I decided that an assault on the "old woman" volcano was in order so we loaded up on supplies (beer) headed north into the blast furnace that some people call Guanacaste. During the next two days La Ley Seca (the dry law) was in effect due to the Good Friday/Easter holiday.......yes, it is illegal to sell booze anywhere in the country during that time......I'm sure there were plenty of bummed out spring breakers that found this out the hard way (hatin' it brah)

We were set up to camp (throw down style - no cooking) and I knew of the perfect spot. Unfortunately the perfect camping spot had morphed into a into a SPA in the year since Jen and I were here last. We ended up camping at the way-overpriced Rincon de le Vieja Lodge - out in the horse pasture. It was actually pretty sweet camping but the next morning at the lodge dining room, we paid way too much for the probably the shittiest breakfast in Costa Rica - but at least the coffee was decent.

The climb was pretty easy: about an hour and a half through some jungly stuff and then another hour above tree line

At the top there are two main craters, the extinct crater and the active one. The extict crater is much higher and pretty boring. The active crater is cool with a big ol bubbling lake 500 feet below you. The edge of the crater is hairy (unstable as hell) and the smell of hydrogen sulfide is intense.

There were a few other folks up top - some of which had no business being up there. We took a different trail for the trip down which included some crazy-steep muddy slopes and two areas where you had to slide down fixed ropes.

The assault was a success and the old lady didn't even put up a struggle.....and that's the way we like it (in fact, she seemed to have enjoyed it)


photos courtesy of Timo CrackBack, Creepy Gringo, all rights reserved